So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
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