forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Randomize
