Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
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