I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
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