That's intense
My hair reeks of homosexuality.
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
Randomize
