i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
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