More tranny stories later!
even my farts smell like vagina
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
Randomize
