have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
Randomize
