you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
Randomize