Your tits are I can't wait for
i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Randomize
