Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
Randomize
