I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
Randomize
