So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
Randomize
