Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
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