i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
Randomize
