That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
Randomize
