if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
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