I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
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