some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
