"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
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