i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize
