East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Randomize
