Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
Randomize
