So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
Randomize
