I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
Randomize
