keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
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