so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
Randomize
