He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
Randomize
