don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
Randomize
