its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
Randomize
