and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
Randomize
