You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
Randomize
