I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
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