Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
It's blow job season.
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
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