This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
Randomize
