I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
Randomize
