It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
I just counted my steps so I know when you start looking for you on my way back from the bathroom
You know how us drunks love counting steps
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
We're not piercing ourselves today.
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
Randomize
