i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
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