Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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