How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
