that's an acceptable place to lick
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
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