Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
Randomize
