was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Randomize
