I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
I am one with the molecules
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
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