New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
Randomize
