I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
Randomize
