Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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