Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
