i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
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