Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
I had a dream last night that Anthony Bourdain gave me a vibrator.
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
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