i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
Randomize
