This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
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