Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
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