i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
