i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
Its about making memories worth repressing
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
Randomize
